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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Problem Numero Dos

My 1st problem was that "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" would be constant agitation about arousing and stimulating Ellen.

My 2nd problem is that it's all about arousing and stimulating her, over children.

Disclaimer: Nothing against Ellen, but who is doing this?  I mean no harm.  This is a serious topic.  I feel I am always in trouble and can't get out.  I will not submit to this.  This is very annoying.  I have no escape and then have nothing to turn to.  All I know was I saw Johnny Depp on the show and this happens.  I just saw it bud as a symbol.  It's nothing too bad.  It seems we can't get my dad to stop being suggestive.  That's what I said: we can't get my dad to stop being suggestive.  I knock down the bar a notch, he knocks the gold back to where it was again.  I didn't even get to say anything!  I just thunk't!

Now, Ellen may need this, but I don't even like being touched by my dad like he's the Madonna.  I know plenty of people who would skirt by their time without touching her at all.  I want people to not bother my dad, too.  I like when I see boys who like him.

In a way, this isn't much.  I've lived the years watching people wanna just arouse and stimulate Ellen like she's the young kid.  It isn't much also cuz my dad is like touching me it feels since Tim Burton and Nell Burton as an issue.  I don't like it.  People are forcing it upon me.  It also is making me feel violent.  I'm not saying Ellen isn't much, I see.  I've already said how I thought this thing wasn't good.  I don't get to get close to anyone and sometimes m********* each day, stuck in my room with everyone against me for so long.  I didn't do anything illegal.  I will start work and the online school for safety of my future.  This isn't a joke.  I don't look back on these years with a smile.  I should be able to spend time not working and feel okay enough I can work out and stuff and become a successful actor, but I'm stuck with uptight, upset parents.  I still have some problems with how my belongings are organized and the neatness level of my room.  I will slowly rectify it, but I don't like going through the motions.  If I became famous, I would be different.  We should learn to do things normally without sacrificing what's right, like living a happy life like in a cottage baking fine food.  I have an audition in June, hope I can make it.  I can't seem to lose much weight.  I just found the treadmill was good for me.  I kept my heart rate up high on it and the elliptical for over 15 minutes, 30 being the ideal.  It was above age 20.  That's a blessing in the rough.  I am getting a wig next week, too, cuz my hair is so short.  I might wear it at the audition.

So, what isn't much is the annoying tingly feelings I have as though I've been touched in a way I don't like someone to touch me.  I don't like my parents's secret ways of getting in my life in private, popping up stimulating me in bad ways.  All I know of concretely is like when my dad drives me.  He does it for Orlando, but I don't want him to touch me like that.  I thought it was so Nell Burton could feel more in sync with her own dad.  They are treating me like I am disposable.  The thing is my dad does what he does, and it was time for me to be even more in the world.  They simply told me to go home, and now I am older and working!  I am horrified at people judging my morals and the aesthetics of me from a long time ago!  Who all is doing this?!

So, watch someone and then be with someone else, and your good feelings won't be able to happen and for no good reason.  I'm treated like I'm puny.  It's like my dad won't allow me to feel good by someone else and instead feels the other up.  That is horrifying the way they do it.  It's them instead of me feeling normal.  I don't see what the big deal is.  I need to live my life and I wanna be a famous actress.

If you wanna know, I forgot to give my parents the credit bill and they put it off more and I can't get an apartment in Miami.  My room is painted Miami.

I don't know why my parents wouldn't want me to live with them.  They want me to have fun, I know.  I was supposed to be able to fix up to act.  I have no idea what to do.  I don't mind turning myself in now.  It's not working.  I'm stressed @ my Shakespeare monologue I like so much.  It would be a strain to learn something else I don't like, truthfully, though I asked for more concrete help from my dad, who didn't seem to wanna connect on that.

I feel ripped off, that Ellen feels all this pleasure from my dad!  This is a nightmare!  Ellen and dad don't go!  My dad is being strange.

People are always bugging me for things I did as a slip.  I am not a bad person.  I am always good, and people greet me with a sneer.  Then, they go on to being mean to me for not liking it.

So, Ellen can have fun, but I feel they are k***ing her off as far as feeling good goes.  My dad will not get in the way of someone mothering me.  Someone help!  This is so bad!  People can't act like this to me.  I don't wanna feel that.  I wanted my normal life.  I've had more exciting times!  Teen years..childhood..comes and goes.  Let's see if my dad has a problem with me feeling good from others.  I wonder if he even hurt Ellen.  What if someone did to him the same thing he does to them??  Why does Ellen wanna turn on inappropriately if my dad didn't do it-if so that means something else.  I can't have him always touching himself when I think about Ellen.  I don't know why I don't turn on to my parents like with very attractive people who approve of me and always even thought I was better..though they did go back and act sly.  Nothing specific for anyone.  Ever since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, people's bubble's been burst.  I don't need someone famous, but I want my life to be at ease.  I would seek out famous people cuz I also wanna be famous though I seek out others just as much.

I didn't quite feel up to elaborating on my dad feeling us up, but it's a thought on my mind.  Go ahead, whatever you wanna feel, though I don't think anyone'll like it-what the message was.  I mean, it didn't fit.  Do you want my dad to get on the show and put his hand between the legs of Ellen DeGeneres?  We shouldn't make a big deal of it, but it is a question.  How will we get Ellen felt without these tingly punishments?  Is there something special about people born around 1960 like they're always right?  Why can't I just enjoy stuff without epic things seeping in?  And it has more to do with me!  And no offense to my dad, just a dad question.  Don't expect anything back-on that.

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