1stly, you forgot I was an adult. I did get addicted to perverted feelings as a kid, when I was 6. I just thought about it. I 1st m********ed at 7. No one cared about me growing up. My parents made my hair black. How can you not know how to keep getting it lighter and same with my eyes? That's why I had to do that. I thought of for some reason it came to me being left in a sack and my teacher finding me, in the desert, like a dream. Then, I would fantasize about animals in liquid? Nothing else serious. I guess I got something about being rescued in a pit of balls. I imagined them over and over in bed, but when I woke up I didn't expect them. I never felt someone feel me up as a kid. I get some stimulation from other things. All the time I don't stimulate myself, I feel uptight. In bed, I sometimes find something theoretically thinking. I guess it's best to imagine things like hugs cuz you can't be hugged as long as someone wants to bestow it upon you.
This is not an excuse to say Ellen should do that. I think the world has took charge of these things. I just blame 1st grade. You think I numbed an addiction. I haven't numbed a hug addiction. If I need to feel something, that's something you should feel..
You know, though, I feel attacked like my dad wants to change me.
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